Review by Sean Penn: writer, actor, world stage
16hWhat a crock of shit.
Bums. The Lutz family is a pack of bums that doomed us to a seemingly never ending release of Amityville content. There’s several books, probably nearly 100 movies with the title Amityville in it.
I decided to let bygones be bygones and give the OG book a read through. And it stunk. Already I know the story and I’m not a fan of it. I thought the Amityville Horror movie was slow and mediocre. The book is an entirely different beast. It’s so dry I thought my kobo was going to catch fire from all the friction of turning fake pages. That would be a more likely scenario than their dumb fucking house being haunted.
It’s clear, clear from the get go that these pig fucks have issues with money. Money they desperately need shows up for a wedding and mysteriously goes missing. Issues with an IRS agent. Hmmm… how odd. How very very odd.
The worst part is all the stuff with the priest. For some reason. This “pig demon” has decided it would put forth more effort and energy into harassing the priest more than any specter in history. This putz keeps calling the house and ends up getting slapped and blisters. Real life homie was like, all I did was bless this house.
Don’t get me started on the floating. Bitch floats like five different times in the book. By the end it’s presented in such a matter of fact way. He just pulls her right back.
The real issue with the book is the writing. We are told everything. It essentially acts as an affidavit of events rather than an actual entertaining story. Nothing is overtly described. The dryness leaches onto the movie for sure. It’s why I think the sequel movie was superior because it could get away from the source material and actually have room to be creative.
What a crock of shit.
Bums. The Lutz family is a pack of bums that doomed us to a seemingly never ending release of Amityville content. There’s several books, probably nearly 100 movies with the title Amityville in it.
I decided to let bygones be bygones and give the OG book a read through. And it stunk. Already I know the story and I’m not a fan of it. I thought the Amityville Horror movie was slow and mediocre. The book is an entirely different beast. It’s so dry I thought my kobo was going to catch fire from all the friction of turning fake pages. That would be a more likely scenario than their dumb fucking house being haunted.
It’s clear, clear from the get go that these pig fucks have issues with money. Money they desperately need shows up for a wedding and mysteriously goes missing. Issues with an IRS agent. Hmmm… how odd. How very very odd.
The worst part is all the stuff with the priest. For some reason. This “pig demon” has decided it would put forth more effort and energy into harassing the priest more than any specter in history. This putz keeps calling the house and ends up getting slapped and blisters. Real life homie was like, all I did was bless this house.
Don’t get me started on the floating. Bitch floats like five different times in the book. By the end it’s presented in such a matter of fact way. He just pulls her right back.
The real issue with the book is the writing. We are told everything. It essentially acts as an affidavit of events rather than an actual entertaining story. Nothing is overtly described. The dryness leaches onto the movie for sure. It’s why I think the sequel movie was superior because it could get away from the source material and actually have room to be creative.
